Ode to Cunn(tingham) ROFL

Another lecture, another sonnet. Fucking god, I hate my Shakespeare professor.

Cunningham! Thou saucy, painted harlot!
Lascivious nymph (you inflate my Blimp--
I said it-- Blimp Tip red rich scarlet!)
"Lookit, bitch," Ha! I speak to you as pimp.
Step back, Chao, you're getting awful violent,
Sweet Bees (as she) drink naught but honeyed wine.
So chill, baby, play it cool refinement.
Pedantic shit-- and from your palm she'll dine...
O, Cunningham! My silver-tonguéd Muse,
Thine luscious lumps and caverns to spelunk,
Vast continent that none yet dare to claim.
Yet I be bold: my flag inside thy cooze
I then shall plant once thou art finely Crunk.
Cunningham! In these loins thou findst thy fame!